A book, a film and the truth

December 31, 2009 by Chetan Bhagat

Dear All,

The 3 Idiots story credit issue has been making some noise now. The
news is coming out in bits and pieces, and I think it is important I
clarify a few things. Yes, clearly, the makers of the film have been
unfair and thousands of my readers have been saying so. I am aware of
this, and this is not an issue that has 'just come up'. I've been
grappling with it for two years, but kept silent about it.

The only reason it has surfaced after the movie's release is because
Five Point Someone has a few million readers, and when you copy a
popular story claiming it as 'original' and 'completely different',
people are going to find out. People did, and so did a lot of media
journalists.

The case is as simple as the makers claiming the story as their own,
and clearly it is not. Pre-release, the makers made press statements
like the movie is only 'very loosely', '2%-5% inspired by the book'.
After release, those who have read the book and seen the movie (and
frankly, I think those are the only people who have the right to
comment) find the film to be an adaptation of Five Point Someone. The
setting, characters, plotline, dramatic twists and turns, one-liners,
theme, message – almost all aspects that make up the story are from
FPS. Yes, there are some changes, any adaptation requires that – but
it is no way an original story. Leading movie critics have privately
admitted to me that the film is 70% the book. Still, don't take my
word for it – go read the book, watch the film.

I, frankly, was shocked to see this. This is because I was also fed
'this is an original movie' line a lot. I wanted to see the final
script – it was never shown to me. I wanted to see the film before
release – it was not shown to me (even though trials had been done for
people). What's more, the makers had called me to their office and
pressured me several times to withdraw my 'Based on a novel by'
credit, which was by contract. They told me they'd replace it with
something like 'initiated by' – a credit that doesn't exist anywhere
in the world. I still told them that if the film is indeed original,
I'll happily withdraw the credit, but somehow the promos don't tell me
so. I asked them to show me the film and they fell silent.

Soon, they started doing media promotions for the film, and kept me
completely out of it (you'll never find me in an interview with them).
Crores was poured into publicity on shutting me out and cementing the
fact that 3 Idiots is not based on Five Point Someone. However, the
book had been read by millions of people and the FPS buzz just did not
die down.

Ten days before the release, I was called into their office. They said
'we should be friends now'. I said I am always up for friendship, and
the success of the film is good for me as well. They also said, and I
quote verbatim 'even though this is an original film, we have given
you a great credit, right upfront. After all, we love writers and a
king should treat another king with respect. You are family'. I
believed them.

I called my family before release, and told them all not to expect
FPS. I even gave a few interviews where I said don't expect FPS.

Then I went for the premiere. My family sat in the theatre shocked, as
sequence after sequence came from the book. 2%-5% means 3-6 minutes,
and I had told my family to look for the few FPS moments and note
them. However, there were so many that it became impossible to keep
track. The plot line was same – people meet at ragging, the first
class with definition of machine, the friends separate, Alok (Raju)
moves with Venkat (Chatur), Ryan (Rancho) helps Alok's father, Alok
rejoins group etc etc. From Alok (Raju) jumping to stealing the
papers and calling out from Cherian (Virus') office – the book came
alive on screen. I was surprised and happy that FPS has made it in
such a grand way.

However, my family had not spotted my credit in the beginning (there
was none) and they were feeling let down. A screenplay associate
credit to VVC had a prominent upfront placement. The story credit was
not shared with me. And yes, all the office talk of a 'king treated
like king' was a white lie.

I knew they had played with me, and that 'based on a novel by' credit,
which they were legally bound to give would be hushed away at the end
– with the clear intention of making sure people miss it. And indeed,
it came after the junior artists and still photographer of the movie,
and zoomed away fast. My own mother missed seeing my name, and for
that she cried after seeing the film. I told her it doesn't matter, as
people know FPS. But yes, that hurt me a lot.

I went up to the makers after the premiere, and they said it is a hit
so chill and forget about it. I guess I could, but it is hard. Only a
writer or a creative person knows how this feels. I am one of the
lucky ones that people have read FPS. Imagine the fate of other
writers in Bollywood. Anyway, I came home and thanked God for making
my story reach so many people.

Upon the film's release – my mailbox and twitter account, literally
became flooded. Fans and readers wrote stunned mails. They had seen
the makers' interviews which had denied FPS links and they missed
seeing the credit on screen. I kept quiet, though I did send a message
to the makers telling them audience reactions. They did not respond.
Soon media journalists saw the film. They called me and said they have
to do a story on this as they are on my side. I tried my best to avoid
them. However, many have helped me in the past and I can't avoid their
call forever. One HT journalist from Delhi called, and asked me how I
felt about the credit. I used one word – I said 'strange'. And that's
when the news exploded.

This my friends, is the story. Meanwhile, the makers have accused me
of seeking fame – when clearly it is the other way round. They've
taken my story to make fame for themselves, and shut me out of it. I
know my readers will spot it immediately. However, the film also
reaches millions of other people who do not read books – and they
deserve to know who wrote the story. And that is why I am talking
about this issue (and I admit for people who've read the book, they
may wonder it's so obvious so why I am going on about it).

I hope my explanation helps. I do have a few additional points to make.
This has nothing to do with Mr. Aamir Khan – while the makers are
fronting him to talk about the issue (as he has the credibility), this
is not about him at all. I am a big fan of Aamir and he has made my
story reach people. However, he was told by the makers not to read the
book, and he hasn't. Thus, he cannot comment on the issue in a
meaningful manner. The media should stop questioning him. When I met
him, both of us were told that the movie is original and not the book.
He was asked not to read the book – and I wasn't shown the script. Go
figure.

I don't need this kind of fame – It doesn't do anything for me. Like I
said, I am lucky to have channels to express my opinion. Other writers
don't. I can't tell you how much it hurts when this happens. Imagine
someone takes your child, dresses him up and tells the world it is
theirs. I've felt the pain for two years on this issue but I kept
silent on it. I can't help it if millions have read the book and see
the movie upon release and spot the issue themselves.

I don't want anything from them – They've taken the story credit. Let
them keep it. All Bollywood award functions have an award for 'story',
apart from other categories. They'll collect it all year around and
feel good about it. I didn't write the story for awards. I wrote it as
I felt I had something to say about the education system and the race
for grades. I have my fans' love and I am more than happy with it.

The odds - They have an army of people to promote their side of the
story, crores of media budgets and are sparing no efforts to bring me
down. The only thing I have is my fans, and the truth. But then, the
truth is Krishna, and the Pandavas had only that while there was an
army on the other side. Remember who won that battle?

Some people have told me that I should keep silent. I did try to be
silent but didn't work. Also, people say this is how Bollywood works.
Sorry, I disagree. Not all Bollywood works like this. There are a lot
of good people too. And every event like this helps change things for
the better. And that is what I am all about anyway.

I urge you to not believe me at face value. Read the book, see the
movie – and like the movie says – think for yourself and decide.

I want to thank the media journalists who are supporting me. Yes, the
makers on the other side have a lot of stature – but truth comes above
stature – that's the first rule of journalism. I salute you for having
the courage to stick to that. Our country does have free press, and
thank God for that.

Like I said, I don't need anything. Even if I have no more movies made
on my stories or nobody wants to read my books and columns, I'll
happily join ISKCON and dedicate my life to Krishna.

But I will not shy away from the truth – ever.

Blessings,
Me

Bhagat upset over story credit for 3 Idiots

Aditya Gupta
Mumbai, December 29, 2009

Writer Chetan Bhagat is upset with the makers of 3 Idiots, the film
based on his bestselling novel Five Point Someone. He says he has not
been given due credit for the story.

"I wasn't shown the film (before its release) or even the full script.
I was only told that a lot of changes had been made (in the story).
The film's makers have not even given me credit for the story. I don't
know why they have done this," says Bhagat.

"There was this news going around that the film is loosely inspired by
my book. But when we saw the film, we realised that it basically
followed the book. Some extra bits had been added, like in the climax.
But 75 per cent of the film was based on my book," he says.

Referring to a proper story credit being given to him in the film
Hello, Bhagat says: "Almost any film made worldwide on a book always
has proper acknowledgement to the writer."

Bhagat also refers to Slumdog Millionaire, which is based on Vikas
Swarup's novel Q&A, as an example. "The film was changed a lot. But
when (director) Danny Boyle took the Oscar, he thanked Vikas in his
speech," he says.

"The makers of 3 Idiots have legitimately taken the rights (of the
book) and made the payments, but somehow they wanted to project that
this is their story. But you can't do that with a book like Five Point
Someone, which is the highest selling book in the country," says
Bhagat.

The Curious Case of Phunsuk Wangdu:

Prequel to Taare Zameen Par

SPOILERS GALORE THROUGHOUT

Really! Is this it? Even if one were to suggest that all the 5 stars ratings had hyped up the film a bit too much for me…still, is this it? I mean, seriously, is 3 Idiots really the best film of the year…the best since Lagaan as some people are calling it? I'm surely missing something here. Either that or, Akshay Kumar never quite realized that all he had to do to elevate his films from the 'low-brow & crude' humour tag that they were pinned with was to sprinkle them with some convenient pop-philosophy and a pretentious life-affirming feel-good message. Because, really, that is the feeling I got after spending 3 hours with the 3 idiots and the 3 hundred more in the auditorium. Of course, I'll be the first to admit that I am in the teensiest minority possible here since the whole crowd was laughing with the film, and everyone I know loves the film, like I don't remember in recent memory. So, being the biggest Idiot of them all, I request you to not read the following as my 'review' of the film. I surrender; I'm ill-equipped to review a film that I don't 'get'?

3 Idiots begins then with one of the idiots Farhan Quereshi (Madhavan) faking a heart attack to land a plane, and then con a cab driver at the airport into taking him to his friend's house, the second idiot, Raju Rastogi (Sharman Joshi) who joins him in a hurry without any pants on! An emergency landing and a pant-less dash better be worth something…it is. For they've just found out the whereabouts of the third idiot of their triumvirate…Ranchoddas Chanchad (Aamir Khan) who'd just as mysteriously disappeared from their lives as he had entered. Ranchoddas aka Rancho impressed Farhan and Raju on his first day at the Imperial College of Engineering (ICE) hostel when he gets even with his ragging seniors by proving that salt water is a good conductor of electricity! Wonderful, right? Yes! That he does so by electrocuting the penis of the senior in question who is about to piss on Rancho's door is another matter. We've all had a hearty laugh…and that should be it! You can't even call it crude, because hey…it's also very clever, you see. You're electrocuting a man's dick, but you're also learning about salt water! That is what Rancho's caboodle of education seems to be- to not merely learn by rote, but to understand stuff and employ it in your daily life. Noble indeed! That the manifestation of this comes by way of electrocuting dicks (repeated again in the climax of the film) and delivering babies on a ping-pong table with the help of a vacuum cleaner (I kid you not!) shouldn't be a bother!

Supposedly then, this film is about the education system and what's wrong with it. But save a scene where a professor insists on the 'definition' of machine instead of an explanation of it, what flaws of the system does it really address? Is it really a scathing remark on the education system when an examiner refuses to accept the answer-papers of students who turn up late for the exam? This when they've conveniently not bothered to inform the examiner of the truly justified reason for their being late! We hardly see the professors of the ICE. All we encounter over and over again is the Principal, Viru Sahastrabuddhe (Boman Irani) aka ViruS and his encounters with Rancho & Co. When Rancho is not offering Virus free suicide statistics (the film chooses to see only the system as responsible for student-suicides, and not ragging…which actually has been proven to be the reason for more suicides than parental and peer pressure), he and his idiots are busy turning up at his daughter's engagement or pissing on his front door! Yes, for though it is unfair of a senior to piss on a junior's door (ragging that is met with penile electrocution)…it is supposedly just and funny for two students to piss on the front door of their Principal's house! Because Virus is evil, you see. The murderer, as he is dubbed, responsible for students committing suicides. And that is what the film eventually boils down to. Not a comment on the education system per se, but a personal one-upmanship between the 3 Idiots and Virus. Unlike Munna Bhai MBBS, where along with Boman's Dr. Asthana, the whole medical fraternity and the hospital staff and its patients alike were imparted valuable lessons in life; or Lage Raho Munna Bhai, where Gandhigiri wasn't used merely to reform Boman's sardar, but sold as a relevant catchphrase to the apathetic society in general…3 Idiots doesn't have a large-scale awakening.

What it does have is a catchphrase- All Izz Well…a catchphrase that it oversells, to the point of contriving an extremely far-fetched scene that is intended to make the term iconic. In the Munna Bhai films, Jadoo Ki Jhappi and Gandhigiri became part of our everyday lingo…but the films didn't aim for it. In 3 Idiots, even after hearing Aamir spell it out umpteen times, offering a Paul Coelho-esque placebo pill to our problems in life…the script actually engineers Virus' reversal by staging a childbirth so bizarre, the Farelly brothers might call a hit on Hirani for coming up with it first. On the day that the 3 Idiots are expelled from the institute, the city is very conveniently flooded in a deluge of biblical proportions. Virus' daughter (Mona Singh), again very conveniently, happens to go into labour at just the moment. His other daughter, Rancho's insipid love-interest Pia (Kareena Kapoor), conveniently happens to be away in a hospital they can't get to…and the 3 Idiots happen to cross their paths just as conveniently! So Rancho, inspired by the Deepika Padukone BSNL ad, proceeds to deliver the child via medical counseling by Pia over the webcam. Oh shoot…the lights are out and the mother's too weak to push! Fear not, Rancho, just like his brilliant salt water innovation, comes up with an idea to not only generate electricity with an inverter (duh!) but suck the baby out of the tired mother's womb with the help of a…vacuum cleaner! But that's not the clincher. This birth of an innovation tied in with that of an actual birth (I can already see people reading into the brilliance of this twinning!), is made all the more significant when the apparently stillborn baby responds and comes to life upon hearing the term All Izz Well! The whole setup of the catchphrase is finally given its iconicity-cementing payoff in this most excogitated of scenes I've ever seen! And yes, Virus finally learns that true brilliance lies not in education by rote, but in knowledge with illustration. Hear, hear!

But even if one were to overlook all these, can someone please help me justify the number of loopholes that this script has? Pray why is Pia getting married to the same loser that she'd rejected 9 years earlier? Why does Virus react the way he does when he sees Raju at Pia's wedding…especially after he'd made his peace with the 3 Idiots when they graduated? Why didn't Farhan and Raju never bother to ask Rancho's address, and even if they didn't why did they not bother enquiring with the college about it since it is made amply clear later that he didn't provide a wrong address? And why didn't Pia, being the Principal's daughter, get the address out of her father, especially since she so easily accesses the keys to his office? Why did Rancho keep his secret from his best buddies and Pia?

This brings me to the 'secret' in question. The film hinges at the intermission on a curveball so sharp, I felt the film had suddenly been hijacked by Stephen King. Thankfully, and unfortunately (!), that wasn't the case. Rancho was never Rancho we realize. The son of a gardener, he, like good Will Hunting, had a penchant for learning…solving grade 10 problems while old enough to be in the 6th! Upon learning this, his master decides to fund his education until he grows up and earns a degree in Engineering! All this because his own son, the real Rancho, is a duffer…and the old man is planning ahead, knowing that the degree will help in getting roadway contracts for his son in the future! Talk about long-term planning. The kid was in the 6th grade…you devised a plan right until his graduation in Engineering! Anyway, our loyal, un-ghostly but equally phantasmal, doppelganger disappears after securing his degree and hands it over to the real Rancho. He studied, we are told, not to get a job but for the sheer joy of learning!

So who was he? The answer is revealed in the Ladakh-set climax, where we finally realize why Ranchod baba gave such pop-sermons during his stay at ICE. Like the Lama, a hop and skip away in Dharamsala, our Rancho is actually a Tibetan chap called Phunsuk Wangdu! Yes, not only is Aamir Khan playing a 22 year old, he's also supposedly a Tibetan! Wangdu has set up a school that encourages innovation and education the way he believes it should be. Wangdu is what Ram Nikumbh of Taare Zameen Par was before he came down to Mumbai ! Noble, again…but shouldn't Wangdu be proud of what he's done…and get his friends in on it and as many people as possible. Instead, the only person he chooses to write a letter and invite to be a part of his noble scheme is a vertically challenged help from ICE…not his two best buddies or the girl he loved! Why? Cuz otherwise there wouldn't be the contrivance of the all-important, plane-landing, pants-forgetting and wedding-abandoning journey to attain enlightenment from the Tibetan baba literally at the top of the world!

It's not just the contrivances though. The laziness! I like Hirani quite a lot, but how many times is he going to have a free thinker (Munna, Rancho) teach a Boman-in-some-getup (and the audience by extension) to see the flaw in his tenets of living and adopt the more ideal fulfilling approach towards life. It's not just the concept of a funny social message giving film that is getting repetitive; it's also the situations and the characters. Boman in all three films has now personified the face of the ills of the society, clique, group, etc. that the film in question seeks to question. In both Munna Bhai MBBS and 3 Idiots, he plays the authoritative mean-spirited head of administration. Like the orientation scene in Munna Bhai MBBS where Sanjay Dutt raises his hand and asks a befuddling question to Boman, you have Aamir raising his hand here and asking Boman a similarly innocent yet foxing question at the orientation! In Lage Raho Munna Bhai you had Jimmy Shergill being coaxed to overcome his fear and come clean to his father, played by Parikshit Sahni, following which they bond and shed a few manly tears. Here too you have Madhavan being coaxed to overcome his fear and reveal his true aspirations to his father following which they shed a few manly tears. Who plays the father, you ask? Why of course, Parikshit Sahni! If Munna Bhai MBBS had a comatose patient and a jilted lover who'd attempted suicide and a young man fated to die early…all being revitalized by Munna with his practical musings and a zappy song, you have in 3 Idiots, an amalgamation of all the three cases of Munna Bhai MBBS in Sharman when he attempts a suicide, ends up comatose and is slated to die! And we have the winsome Munna in Rancho's avatar working his humour to get him out of it! But how am I supposed to feel any anxiety or any emotion when we know, right from the beginning, that Sharman is alive…since he's undertaking the journey with Madhavan! It's not so much about 'will he make it?', as much as it is about 'how will he make it?', then! It robs this development of any pathos that it could have had.

And that is something I am very curious about. For a director unashamed of displaying emotions, Hirani seems very intent on being un-melodramatic here…to the extent where he trivializes everything with a comic yield. His approach is very commendable, especially in an age where melodrama is a curse word, but what's the point of spoofing Raju's abject poverty as a 50s film? It offends as a comedy for someone who's lived very close to such an existence, and fails as a drama for someone who's never experienced it. Why would you have a paralyzed man flailing his limbs wildly sandwiched between two people atop a scooter on his way to the hospital? These are zany yes, but to what end?

It is the humour then, most of all, which I didn't get in the least bit all. 27 instances of pissing, farting and pants being dropped to offer a posterior salute…these are funny…but in a puerile, childish and slapstick way. This is surely not the comical genius evident in Munna Bhai MBBS and Lage Raho Munna Bhai. Or for that matter is a rolling pin flattening dough after it has been used to scratch a grey-haired chest funny or simply gross? Is the substitution of the word chamatkar with balatkar and dhan with stan really the argument against rote learning that it pretends to be or merely an excuse to bring down the house with its innuendo? Would we have celebrated this comedy of confusion in an Akshay Kumar film where they wouldn't have been canny enough in disguising the cheap humour as an important lesson? And isn't that ultimately what 3 Idiots sadly is all about? Cheap humorous gags passed off in the guise of an important social film!

Rating- **

P.S.- I realize I haven't spoken about the performances. Aamir Khan adopts a fine body language and behaves every bit a 22 year old. Notice him especially in the scene where Boman hauls him to the classroom…Aamir lets his body loose so that he isn't walking with Boman, but being dragged. No matter how good a performance, I still can't fathom why we needed a 44 year old 'playing' a 22 year old…however believable he makes it by virtue of his talent. Sharman Joshi's is the performance you take home. His Raju, despite Hirani's efforts otherwise, emerges as the emotional voice of the film. His attempted suicide played to an Opera (a wonderful use of the setup earlier), his waking up drunk in classroom and his interview scene are the highlights. Sharman truly shines in  this one. Madhavan has the least role of the three, but he is effective in his part oozing with an affecting sincerity. Kareena Kapoor unfortunately has become so used to her glam roles that for the first time she is having difficulty being herself even! Omi Vaidya, though a bit loud I felt, was nevertheless interesting. Boman Irani worked for me in a big way. In a script that didn't bother to look at the other side, of people who have invariably become a part of the system not by choice but because they didn't think there was any other way, Boman lends his character with a nice air of desperate authority. Watch him especially as he clings on to his being right when he accepts defeat to Rancho but insists that he was right about the gravity-defying pen. He is a man who did all that was told to him, followed it to the point without questioning it…but finally realizes that maybe, just maybe, he was cheated after all!

P.P.S. – The film borrows from Scent of a Woman, Dead Poets Society, Good Will Hunting, School Ties and Teaching Mrs. Tingle apart from others. It also borrows gags from chain-mails like the man clicking a picture of the 5 burqa-clad women, to name one.

It's Chetan Bhagat versus the rest on Twitter

Until Monday, Chetan Bhagat was one of the most followed Indians on
Twitter. The bestselling author of Five Point Someone, One Night at
the Call Center, Three Mistakes of My Life and more recently, Two
States, had more than 27,000 followers and was possibly one of the
most accessible Indian celebrities on the popular microblogging site.

All that changed around 5 pm Monday evening when he blocked Saad
Akhtar, a Delhi-based writer and cartoonist who runs a web comic
called FlyYouFools, who poked fun at Bhagat's apparent bad mood by
saying, "In a bad mood today, aren't we? Let me guess: Royalty check
came in?" Akhtar retweeted that message, which otherwise would have
been regular reply on Bhagat's and Akhtar's Twitter timeline.

This act triggered an avalanche. In the next couple of hours, a large
part of the Indian Twitterati seemed to rise against the "block". So
much so that, the hashtag #Chetanblocks became a trending topic on
Twitter's home page.

A flurry of messages, accusations, counter-accusations, one-liners and
cartoon strips followed. Around 8 pm or so, a video spoof came up on
YouTube showing German dictator Adolf Hitler getting upset that Chetan
Bhagat has blocked him.

Akhtar, whose Twitter handle is also called "FlyyouFools", was
responding to Bhagat agonising over the piracy of his books in three
different tweets: 1) "Almost anyone who is reading my pirated books
can afford the original. It hurts me a lot personally. Just sharing."
2) "Piracy kills publishers, esp domestic literature. Gives incentive
writers to move westwards. Don't do it if you care for Indian
creativity." And 3) At a broader level, a society that doesn't respect
intellectual property never excels at innovation. See what kind of
India u want."

Bhagat, whose latest book Two States retails at Rs 95 - around the
same price as a pirated book - told Akhtar he would block him if he
continued to be smart alecky in his messages, and when the latter did
not stop, Bhagat blocked him.

Bhagat in Hong Kong
The author is currently in Hong Kong helping a friend set up a new
company, and did not respond to our phone calls or emails, but he did
put out a clarification on his Twitter account saying he stands by his
decision to block Akhtar.

"Today, someone who had done so many times, trivialised my commitment
to India," he wrote. "Few things can hurt me more. I still didn't
block him and told him to stop. He enjoyed the attention and ridiculed
that as well. I took a call and blocked him... I stand by my decision
to block him, and I think I have the right to. Am aware tweets can
still be accessed. Just don't want him in my timeline."

Mail Today asked Akhtar if he and Bhagat followers on Twitter went too
far. "The situation got out of hand," he said. "He was angry over his
books being pirated and I kind of made fun of the fact that he's
getting a little too righteous about it as he was bringing in Indian
culture and intellectual property rights into it. So anyway I made a
smartass comment on it, which is what I do - I run a web comic after
all. He didn't like that, warned me that he'll block me if I didn't
stop. So I retweeted that message and he blocked me. All well and
good, except that fact that he blocked me (and a couple of others) got
picked up by other Tweeple and started gaining momentum. Pretty soon
#chetanblocks was trending on Twitter's home page and it quickly
degenerated into an angry mob."

'Price of fame of celebrities'
Delhi-based communications professional and active Twitterer Surekha
Pillai said the entire exchange - which lasted around four hours - was
"the price of fame of celebrities had to pay on a democratic medium
like Twitter", but also felt it went too far. "I believe it went way
too far," Pillai said. "While it was amusing to begin with, it was not
when it spiralled out of control with a virtual mob ganging up against
Chetan."

Chetan Bhagat and Twitter

Writer's 'block' for Chetan-baiters on Twitter

Chetan Bhagat's one night on Twitter

Author's threat to block tweeple, after his tweet on piracy leads to
argument, backfires

Author Chetan Bhagat rubbed his followers on Twitter the wrong way
last evening, after his tweet lamenting piracy of his books led to an
argument with two other tweeters, whom he later threatened to block.

A few hours after the argument, one Nikhil Narayanan started the
#chetanblocks hashtag group, which received an overwhelming response.

People started tweeting from 6 pm and this went on till the wee hours
of the morning, making it the trendiest topic for the day.

Most tweeters were anti-Bhagat with some ridiculing his comments to
block followers, but the author did find support in a few.

How it started...

@Chetan_Bhagat posted a tweet at 4 pm saying, 'Almost anyone who is
reading my pirated books can afford the original. It hurts me a lot
personally. Just sharing."

He added, "Piracy kills publishers, esp domestic literature. Gives
incentive writers to move westwards. Don't do it if you care for
Indian creativity.

At a broader level, a society that doesn't respect intellectual
property never excels at innovation. See what kind of India u want".

To this a tweeter @flyyoufools commented: "Tying everything to India's
progress today, aren't we?"
And the debate took an ugly turn. Bhagat tweeted, "Well it is tied to
progress. Close ur eyes to it if u want to."
Flyyoufools tweeted back, "In a bad mood today, aren't we? Let me
guess: Royalty check came in?

This enraged Bhagat who wrote, 'buddy, one more smart one and u r blocked. ok?

This didn't to go down well with other tweeters. Tweeter Jojo Philip
popped in with 'Don't blame the consumer. If he/she gets the product
at a fifth of its cost, they have every right to pick it up'.

Now, Bhagat was on the edge and he said, 'If i can access your bank
account, i have the right to steal from it?

Pat came the reply from Jojiphilip, 'Piracy happens only when there is
huge gap between d market cost & buying it otherwise. Greedy
publishers plz note

There is a nexus between cops, illegal printers & publishers who r
responsible for piracy. Attack d system, not the consumer."

Block no 2

And the argument continued with Bhagat tweeting, 'nobody is greedy. if
u cant afford it, dont buy it. do u steal cars if u cant afford them?

Jojiphilip was in no mood to accept defeat. He wrote, 'No, i don't
steal cars, but if someone was offering me one for Rs 1000, i wud buy
it.

Blame the guy who is offering me this. as a consumer i have done no
wrong. I have paid the guy on the street corner my hard earned Rs 100
& i did not steal it from him.'

Bhagat seemed to be losing his cool. And gave one more threat to block
the prompt tweeter. The author posted, 'U have. ask a lawyer. And one
more defense of illegal stuff and will block u. ok?

Following this, the portal was flooded with thousands of others with
the author finding no support. The debate was still raging when the
paper went to press.

#chetanblocks Rocks !

GenX works & plays all night

Late to bed and early to rise is leaving schoolchildren in the city
unhealthy, inattentive and anything but wise.

"Nothing registers in my brain during the first three classes of the
day. I long to get back home and catch up on sleep for at least an
hour," admits Class XII student Taran Veer Singh, who stays awake till
well after midnight and wakes up to the alarm ringing at 6 in the
morning.

Sleep deprivation in children takes its toll in the form of lapses in
concentration, absenteeism in school and health problems ranging from
fatigue and indigestion to migraine and ulcers.

"My son feels lethargic all the time and needs regular medication for
indigestion," says Manmeet Kaur, the mother of a Class XII student who
studies till late every night.

Not every child sacrifices sleep for study, though.

"The nocturnal life of a student from Class VIII upwards is as much
about social networking over the phone or on the Net as about studies.
Those hours of privacy seem to matter to them more than sleep," says a
researcher studying student behaviour.

The parents of a Class VIII student of a reputable south Calcutta
school are spending lakhs to transfer their daughter to a strict
boarding school in Bangalore so that she is cured of her habit of
staying up all night to speak to friends over the phone or chat
online.

Meghna Mukherjee (name changed), a Class IX student, admits to feeling
"drowsy" in class but won't change her habit of staying up late
because that would mean sacrificing her nocturnal networking time.
"Night (call) rates are cheaper," giggles Meghna.

Nupur Ghosh, the mother of a Class X student at St Xavier's Collegiate
School, is worried that her son texts his friends even when he is
studying. "I can't even scold him. Lack of sleep has made him prone to
temper tantrums."

When schools report a drop in academic performance in children, the
culprit often turns out to be sleep deprivation. "I have seen children
dozing off while writing an exam. No matter how good a child is in
studies, performance suffers if he or she doesn't get enough sleep,"
explains Apeejay School principal Rita Chatterjee.

Nandita Pal Choudhury, whose daughters are in classes X and XII at La
Martiniere for Girls, tries to dissuade both from studying late into
the night but they don't listen. "On several occasions, my daughters
have come back from an exam upset that they couldn't recall everything
they had learnt," says Nandita.

Some schools have begun counselling students about the advantages of
following a healthy routine. "We have also been discussing possible
remedial measures at parent-teacher meetings. We suggest that parents
don't allow their children to use cellphones or computers after 11pm,"
says Fr Siby Joseph, the principal of Don Bosco School, Park Circus.

Communication between parents and children is the key to understanding
and solving sleep problems, stresses Malini Bhagat, the principal of
Mahadevi Birla Girls' Higher Secondary School. "Students pass out in
class for lack of sleep. It's that serious."

Doctors recommend eight to nine hours of sleep for children.
"Compromising on sleep leads to inconsistent performance, behavioural
disorders and also delayed response. In the long run, the heart
becomes weak," warns Apurba Ghosh, the director of the Institute of
Child Health.

Like One Of Us. Or Like None Other ?

Chetan Bhagat is like one of us. He completed his engineering from IIT
Delhi and MBA from IIM – A and then worked in Deutsche Bank for eleven
years before delving into writing (Now there are so many of us who
maybe having the same educational qualifications as well as dreams of
working in the top banks and other companies of the world). But
somewhere down the line he realised that this was not giving him the
creative satisfaction he so badly wanted and becoming more of a dull
and dreary job.

His first book "Five Point Someone – What not to do at IIT" was
rejected by nine publishers. As he once said at an orientation program
for MBA students at Symbiosis, Pune, this incident made him so
disappointed that he was ready to quit once and for all. But he
refused to buckle down. This simple story of three friends – Hari,
Ryan and Alok and their years in IIT Delhi and how they cope with the
pressures of studies, family pressure and love and friendship made the
nation read like never before (Probably at par with the Harry Potter
series). It catapulted him to instant stardom. This book was followed
by One Night @ the Call Center, Three Mistakes of my Life and 2 States
– The Story of my marriage.

The best thing about his books is the fact that all his characters are
ones which today's generation can associate with – whether its Hari in
Five point someone, Vroom in One night at the Call center or Krish and
Ananya in 2 States – The story of my marriage. Critics have always
lambasted him for "n" number of reasons like having no literary value
in his works, his characters being one dimensional and similar in all
his books as well as ridiculous things like encouraging sex before
marriage. CRITICS BE DAMNED!!!!. Personally I think all these critics
like crap stuff which the general public normally hates. They pass
such comments because none of them have it in them to even write few
lines of a novel.

Bhagat has never advocated the fact that he meant to be a literary
genius. His main aim was, has and I am sure will always be to
entertain all audiences alike. I feel that his greatest success lies
in the simplicity of all his characters though I think "Three Mistakes
of My Life" was much more serious than any of his works which is why
he recently said that after this book he was feeling very heavy and
wanted to get back to something "light-hearted" as that has always
been his forte. As far as promoting sex in his books is concerned, one
thing I would like to point out to the critics is that today's
generations isn't that dumb. They are exposed to Television, print
media (Newspapers, magazines etc) as well as Internet which are much
bigger promoters of sex and nudity than a plain simple novel. Don't
the novels of Sidney Sheldon, Nicholas Sparks and who all have a bit
of sex in them? This is what we call hypocrisy wherein such self –
proclaimed moralists of our country would be watching porn, nudity and
sex but would surely comment on others because they can't bear to see
their success.

Bhagat has become much more than a writer today. He's evolved into a
youth icon having been conferred the Society Young Achiever's Award –
2004 as well as the Publisher's Recognition Award 2005 and also been
called to present speeches at the HT Leadership Summit as well as
Symbiosis, Pune. His articles on politics, economics, social and a
host of other issues in Dainik Bhaskar, Times of India and Hindustan
Times which have created a flutter even in the Parliament also have a
dedicated base of followers.

I would like to end by quoting few lines from his speech at the HT
Leadership Summit in 2008

"I am no leader. At best, I am a dreamer with perseverance to make
dreams come true. As I have made my own dreams come true already, I am
tempted to think we can make my country's dreams come true. And that
is why I am here."

So guys what are you waiting for?? Chetan Bhagat has shown us that all
of us are capable of achieving what he has achieved. All we need is
the perseverance to make our dreams come true!!!

3 IDIOTS

OFFICIAL 3 IDIOTS TRAILER IS OUT : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRyQTiE7LJk 

did you notice: 3 I d I o T s has IIT in it? :) 

It’s the market, Idiot!

It's the market, Idiot!

Aamir Khan is ready to rev up the promotions for his new film 3 Idiots
-- and his marketing skills can match the best in the industry, says S.
Ramachandran
If it"s December, it"s got to be Aamir Khan. The Christmas season is
fast approaching, and the actor is revving up for the promotion of his
new film 3 Idiots. Of late, the last month of the year, particularly
the last week, has become an "Aamir Khan special" in Bollywood. In
2007, he released his directorial debutTaare Zameen Par around
Christmas to a very warm response. In 2008, he repeated the feat with
the blockbuster Ghajini.
So in 2009, the actor is looking forward to a good year-end -- and
doing all that he can do right now to ensure that the film gathers
eyeballs.
His clever promotional strategies for TZP and Ghajinidemonstrated that
Shah Rukh is not the only marketing king in the industry. Aamir Khan --
who thought of innovative ways to promote his earlier films -- has now
stepped out of his den to endorse 3 Idiots, which is slated to roll
out by the end of December.
Khan plays an IIT student in Rajkumar Hirani"s film, which is said to
be loosely based on Chetan Bhagat"s bestseller Five Point Someone.
Kareena Kapoor will be seen opposite Khan for the very first time in
the film, which also stars two of his co-stars from Rang De Basanti --
R. Madhavan and Sharman Joshi.
To catch the attention of the target audience, Khan is interacting
with college students in a film promotional spree. The actor, who
recently got back to India after holidaying in France, attends a
college function in Mumbai where he is the guest of honour. The talk
is all about schools and colleges, but the film crops up -- cleverly --
every now and then.
"I really miss going to college. Actually, I was never "in" college,"
he says. "As a student I used to be mostly out of college as my heart
was in cinema. So in the two years of my college, in the 11th and the
12th, I was mostly in the theatre, working with students of cinema,
going to FTII (the Film and Television Institute of India)."
By the time he was 18, he had started working as an assistant
director. Classes, by then, had been quietly buried. "So I miss those
college years when I see you all having a great time, with so much
excitement and positive energy," the actor says.
The reference to 3 Idiots is subtle. Khan adds that he did get a
chance to re-live his student days when he shot for Hirani"s film at
the Indian Institute of Management (IIM) in Bangalore a few months
ago. "Since I was actually staying there in IIM, I had a good time
being with the students," he says, speaking at length about the right
kind of education and how it could bring about a change in society.
Khan, clearly, knows his marketing onions. Keeping the larger canvas
of TZP in mind -- the film was about a dyslexic child -- Khan had tried
to draw in kids with a painting competition for children. He had also
made an appearance on the Zee TV show Sa Re Ga Ma Lil Champs -- a music
contest for kids. But when it came to Ghajini, the reclusive actor
went all out to market his film with a flurry of smart campaigns.
Apart from walking the ramp for Van Heusen, the stylists of his film,
just days before the release of Ghajini, he also got the ushers of one
of the multiplex chains that was running Shah Rukh"s film Rab Ne Bana
Di Jodi to adopt his bold Ghajini hairstyle. It led to a bit of
badinage between the two superstars.
"He thinks he can ride off the brand that is Shah Rukh Khan," SRK said
when he heard about the stunt. Aamir responded with a nonchalant,
"Shah Rukh has been speaking about himself for the last 20 years, so
there is nothing new about it", before completing his bullish run to
the box office.
GOING ALL OUT: (Top) A poster of the film 3 Idiots. (Left) The star
gives a hair cut during a promo for Ghajini
If he spent a whole year in the gym to beef himself up to look the
revenge-seeking tycoon in Ghajini, the perfectionist actor did just
the opposite to gain a slim look for 3 Idiots. Not surprisingly, he
looks almost like the students when he mingles with them on college
campuses.
Khan"s played a student in films -- and he has played a teacher. In
TZP, he was a master who helped the troubled boy find his feet. "I
have done a lot of films which have been extremely successful. But I
have to say that the biggest high that I ever got in my career was
when I made TZP. I feel blessed that I got an opportunity to be a part
of a film like this and being part of the process of understanding
each other and trying to remove our differences," he says.
Khan prefers to let his teaching do the talking these days. "What
better contribution can teachers make to a society than helping
another human being and changing his life dramatically in a positive
and better way by making them happy?" he asks.
But Khan doesn"t miss his lighter moments. These days, the word
"idiot" seems to have become almost an integral part of his
vocabulary. He uses the word lavishly in any given conversation,
evoking considerable mirth. When he returned from France, a television
reporter asked him if was interrogated by the airport authorities the
way SRK was in the United States two months ago.
"No one checks me as I am an idiot," Aamir replied jovially. He went
on to add that SRK faced a problem because he was "very intelligent".
The implication, perhaps, was that SRK had marketed his airport
incident as a publicity stunt for his forthcoming film, My Name is
Khan. Aamir Khan, who knows the ways of the market too, is going the
same way. His name, after all, is also Khan.

Happy Diwali

With gleam of Diyas 

And the Echo of the Chants 

May Happiness and Contentment Fill Your life 

Wishing you a very happy and prosperous Diwali!!

Chetan Bhagat at MTV India Studios

http://twitpic.com/kd27c - Here's @chetan_bhagat @MTVindia studios a
while back wit his new book 2 STATES! hilarious stuff catch him on
wassup before the weekend

Google Trends Now Has Hotness

The experimental Google Trends site has added another measurement for
searches, highlighting the hottest trends for site visitors. Google
Trends shows how search terms have been queried over time. It plots
the number of searches on a graph, and can plot multiple search terms
to show how trendy they have been in comparison.
Barry Schwartz spotted something new on Google Trends. His Search
Engine Land post picked up on the new Hot Trends section, recently
added by Google's mad scientists to the service.

"I was told to think of it as Google noticing a "sudden rise" in a
query phrase, that is not in the norm for that query," Barry said in
his post. "The higher the rise, the hotter the query is. Google has a
"hotness level" score for these queries, the hottest is 'volcanic',
followed by 'on fire,' 'spicy,' 'medium' and 'mild.'"

It sounds more like the lineup at Buffalo Wild Wings than a technology
product, and who knows, maybe Google brainstormed this update over
wings and beer. There is more to Hot Trends than just some flavorful
names.

The top ten hot trends appear on the Trends home page. A link to more
hot trends shows the top 100 as currently determined by Google. At
press time, searches related to the final episode of 'The Bachelor'
dominated the top ten.

Links to each hot item lead to a profile for it. The hotness scale
appears there, along with a graph of its search volume, and a note as
to when searches peaked for the term. Related news articles, blog
posts, and web results will appear on the page, though right now only
the blog posts feature seems to be working.

It's fun to look at, and we expect Google to flesh it out more over
time; how about image links for starters?

World's shortest URL shortener

World's shortest URL shortener - 縮.jp

‘If you want to give a tit-for-tat policy, call me to frisk Jolie’

What Shah Rukh Khan said on his return to Mumbai from the US

US SECURITY CHECKS
I am scared of the authorities and rules so I try to follow the rules
of the country I travel to. Whenever I am in America, I have to report
at least two hours in advance while travelling within the country for
security reasons — they ask me to take off my clothes and shoes, and I
do that. But I never experienced this kind of treatment.

There are some routine security measures — they check your
fingerprints and scan your retina. But the routine security process
was not followed. Instead, the authorities asked me bizarre and
irrelevant questions. I am not trying to make a point here, but why
were security measures not followed?

The security of any country is important but caste, religion or race
shouldn't come in the way of security measures. You may call me a mega
star, a celebrity, but basically I'm just a normal guy. But I'm lucky
that I have access to friends in the (Indian) consulate whom I could
call up. But there are hundreds of others who don't have this
facility.

If you want to give a tit-for-tat policy to American actors, then call
me to frisk Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox whenever they are visiting
India.

DETENTION
It was in Newark where I was detained for questioning. It was because
they said my name was common to some name that popped up on the
computer. I told them I am a movie star and had recently visited the
country for the shooting for a film (My Name is Khan).
They kept on asking me silly questions like if I knew someone in the
US who could vouch for me, if I could give them numbers of people they
could get in touch with.
I had all the documents; they were asking me where I was going to be
staying. I gave the name of Fox people, with whom I had finalised a
deal a few days ago, as contacts. I kept on giving numbers. They
wanted to know why I came here… I felt bad, angry… I was harassed for
no reason.
I didn't say a word there because I have a sense of humour which might
lead to something… I don't want special treatment. I was not angry and
I was not disturbed.

PUBLICITY
I do not need any publicity. My film's (My Name is Khan) release is
seven-eight months away. Why should I do a publicity stunt now? When
the time comes, I will create such a hoopla for the film's publicity
that the entire world will sit up and watch. Karan (Johar) is
shivering because he has heard that the Americans and Fox studios to
whom we have sold the film, would like to see the rushes of the film
after all this.
I was asked bizarre questions by the airport officials. It wasn't a
drama. I don't want publicity. But I feel routine procedure was not
followed there. We should not be treated on the basis of our colour or
nationality.
I hate people who rake up religious issues for their personal gains.
I don't want to sound pompous here but I don't need publicity to
promote my movie. I am too big a star for that.
The film's issue is much larger than just being a stop at the
immigration. It's not ironic, maybe we made the film because one
thinks this is an issue that should be addressed.

RETURNING TO US
I will go to the US when work demands but I will limit my travels. I
have no complaints against the system but I wish it could be more
streamlined and less cumbersome.
I am not going to the US in the near future. I will never go there
with my family. I understand their security concerns but they must
stop their paranoia. There should not be any security check on the
basis of religion. I don't bother who says what. But I am a proud
Muslim and a proud Indian too.

APOLOGY
I don't want an apology.… They were doing their duty, and I had no
objection to it. But they must improve the system and make people
comfortable rather than making them feel embarrassed and insulted.
There were 20 other people in the same (detention) room. Was even
their baggage missing? I was clearly told that my name flashed on
their computer and therefore they had to question me.
When you have issued me a visa and imprints of my fingers and my
photograph are on it, I am sure it is there in your system. Why do I
have to go through the ordeal?

RAJIV SHUKLA
I managed to send SMSes to my family and friends from the detention
room — Rajiv Shukla was one among them. He used his influence to reach
the Indian embassy officials who came to vouch for me. But he also
owns a news channel so the news went out to the world. That was not my
intention.
They did not ask me not to use the mobile. It was written there on a
poster so I did not call anyone — just texted Mr Shukla and my other
contacts there, including Sant Chatwal (the hotelier).

AMAR SINGH
Amar Singh is unwell, and I pray that he recovers soon with a healthy
body and strong mind. (In response to Singh's comment that SRK was
making a big deal of the incident while people like Amitabh Bachchan
and many others, including former President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, who
have faced this have not created a mountain of a molehill).

MULAYAM SINGH
(On Mulayam Singh's accusation that SRK was doing all this for
publicity) "Yaar, yeh sab wahiyat batein hain (These are all idiotic
statements). Let us not turn this into a political issue."

SALMAN KHAN
(Reacting to fellow actor Salman Khan's comments that such routine
security check-up was okay) It is his experience and his point of view
but it was not comfortable for me. I am a respectable man and I found
all this offensive. This was a first for me. Maybe next time onwards,
I will not mind as well.

she and the circle of life

Feast of happiness: Apropos the report "Where pandal-hopping is a way
of life for five days every year", dated September 28, I feel that it
is the very idea of togetherness that makes Calcutta hop from pandal
to pandal every year (Picture above of popular rendezvous point Maddox
Square on Ashtami, by Amit Datta). Dressed in new clothes, it is
during this time that Calcutta can take a break and enjoy happy
moments together. With relatives and friends turning up, Durga puja
gifts a key to happiness to Calcuttans. Innovative concepts and new
themes of puja pandals are further attractions that drag us out of our
homes. Decorative lighting is an added incentive. Armed with digital
cameras and camcorders, people love to capture the best pujas in town
and preserve them forever.

Subho Bijoyo
Aditya

My 1st Mail2Blog

This is my 1st Mail2Blog

The cut off

Hindustan Times Brunch
July 26, 2009

http://www.hindustantimes.com/thecutoff


Everyone will give you an opinion on how to live your life. No one, no one will give you good advice on how to end it. Worse, they will tell you to continue living, without any respect for individual choice. Yes, hi, I’m Gautam Arora, and after eighteen wonderful years in Delhi, I’ve decided to end my life.
I sat with my best friend Neeraj and his girlfriend Anjali at Costa Coffee, DLF Metropolitan Mall in Saket. The coffee is way overpriced, but considering I had a day to live, I didn’t mind getting ripped off.
“The joke isn’t that funny,” Neeraj said, tearing open the second sachet of brown sugar and mixing it for his girlfriend. If this girl can’t mix sugar in her coffee, I wonder what she will be like after marriage.

“Do I look like I am joking? You are in medical college, and as a friend and someone two years elder to me, I am asking your advice on what is the most painless, graceful way to go. And ideally, it should be available at the friendly neighbourhood chemist,” I said. I ordered a chocolate fudge cake. What are a few extra calories on your last day?
Anjali kept quiet, her iPod plugged in her ears. She had come to the mall to shop with her boyfriend rather than meet me. Neeraj said he only dated Anjali as her father had given her a car and driver, which made it easy to go around. Besides, she looked ok. She was pretty enough to invite a second stare from men, though that’s hardly an achievement in Delhi where men’s standards can be quite modest.
“Dude, you topped your school. How much did you score in your class XII boards again?” Neeraj said.
“Ninety two per cent,” I said.
“Ninety what?” Neeraj said as he ripped out Anjali’s earphones, “Anjali, the dude scored ninety two per cent in commerce! Do you know of anyone who has scored that much?”
Anjali shook her head.
“Wow, you must have studied a lot,” she said.
I nodded. I had done nothing but study in the last two years.
“No time for hobbies?” she said.
I shook my head. My only hobbies were eating three meals and sleeping five hours a day. The rest of the time was with my books.
“With ninety two, you should be fine,” Neeraj said.
“Not according to SRCC, not according to Stephen’s and not according to Hindu, oh what the heck,” I said as I opened my rucksack.
I gave him the special admissions supplement from the newspaper. I had snucked it out early morning so mom and dad wouldn’t see it.
“Wow, check out Lady Sri Ram. B.Com Honours is at 95.5 per cent!” Neeraj said.
“That’s a girl’s college,” Anjali said.
“I know,” I said.
“Don’t worry, he wouldn’t have made it anyway. Anjali, why don’t you go spend some of your father’s money,” Neeraj said and winked at me.
Anjali and I both gave Neeraj a dirty look. Neeraj air-kissed Anjali and gestured to her to leave.
Seriously, don’t kill yourself. To us, you are still the school topper,” Neeraj said after Anjali left.
“So what do I do?” I said, my voice loud, “stay back in school? This topper tag makes things worse. My parents already threw a party for our friends and relatives like I have made it big time in life. I cut a cake with the icing ‘family superstar’.”
“Nice,” Neeraj said.
“Not nice at all. All relatives congratulated my mother. They see me as the next hotshot investment banker on Wall Street. The least they expect me to do is get into a good college in DU.”
“There are still some colleges that you will get,” Neeraj said as I cut him off.
“But none with the same brand value. Thus, you can’t get a decent job after them. You can’t get into the top MBA school.”
Neeraj pushed my coffee cup towards me. I hadn’t touched it. I picked it up and brought it close to my mouth but couldn’t drink it.
“I made one tiny calculation error in my math paper,” I said, “read one stupid unit conversion wrong. That’s it. If only...”
“If only you could chill out. You are going to college, dude! Branded or not, it is always fun.”
“Screw fun,” I said. “What kind of kids are they taking in anyway?” Neeraj said, “you have to be a bean-counter stickler to get ninety seven per cent. Like someone who never takes chances and revises the paper twenty times.”
“I don’t know, I revised it five times. That stupid calculation...”
“Gautam, relax. That paper is done. And sticklers don’t do well in life. Innovative and imaginative people do.”
“That’s not what DU thinks. You don’t understand, my father has proclaimed in his office I will join SRCC. I can’t go to him with a second rung college admission. It’s like his whole life image will alter. Hell, I won’t be able to deal with it myself.”
An SMS from Anjali on Neeraj’s phone interrupted our conversation. At Kimaya, tried fab dress. Come urgently, want your opinion. Neeraj typed the reply back. Honey, it looks great. Buy it.
Neeraj grinned as he showed me his response. “I think you should go,” I said. Rich dads’ daughters can throw pretty nasty tantrums. Neeraj took out the money for coffee. I stopped him. “My treat,” I said. Leave people happy on your last day, I thought. “Of course, I take this as your treat for cracking your boards,” Neeraj said and smiled. He ruffled my hair and left. I came out of the mall and took an auto home.
I met my parents at the dinner table. “So when will the university announce the cut-offs?” my father said.
“In a few days,” I said. I looked up at the dining table fan. No, I couldn’t hang myself. I can’t bear suffocation.
My mother cut mangoes after dinner. The knife made me think of slitting my wrists. Too painful, I thought and dropped the idea.
“So now, my office people are asking me, ‘when is our party?’,” my father said as he took a slice.
“I told you to call them to the party we did for neighbours and relatives,” my mother said.
“How will they fit with your brothers and sisters? My office people are very sophisticated,” my father said.
“My brothers are no less sophisticated. They went to Singapore last year on vacation. At least they are better than your family,” she said.
My father laughed at my mother’s sullen expression. His happiness levels had not receded since the day I received my result.
“My office people want drinks, not food. Don’t worry, I’ll do another one for them when he gets into SRCC or Stephen’s.”
My father worked in the sales division of Tata Tea. We had supplied our entire set of neighbours with free tea for the last five years. As a result, we had more well-wishers than I’d have liked.
“Even my country head called to congratulate me for Gautam. He said – nothing like Stephen’s for your brilliant son,” my father said.
“Gupta aunty came from next door. She wanted to see if you can help her daughter who is in class XI,” my mother said.
Is she pretty, I wanted to ask, but didn’t. It didn’t matter. I came to my room post dinner. I hadn’t quite zeroed down on the exact method, but thought I should start working on the suicide letter anyway. I didn’t want it to be one of the clichéd ones – I love you all and it is no one’s fault, and I’m sorry mom and dad. Yuck, just like first impressions, last impressions are important too. In fact, I didn’t want to do any silly suicide letter. When it is your last, you’d better make it important. I decided to write it to the education minister. I switched on my computer and went to the Education Department website. Half the site links were broken. There was a link called “What after class XII?” I clicked on it, it took me to a blank page with an under construction sign. I sighed as I closed the site. I opened Microsoft Word to type.
Dear Education Minister,
I hope you are doing fine and the large staff of your massive bungalow is treating you well. I won’t take much of your time.
I’ve passed out of class XII and I’ve decided to end my life. I scored ninety-two per cent in my boards, and I have a one foot high trophy from my school for scoring the highest. However, there are so many trophy holding students in this country and so few college seats, that I didn’t get into a college that will train me to the next level or open up good opportunities.
I know I have screwed up. I should have worked harder to get another three per cent. However, I do want to point out a few things to you. When my parents were young, certain colleges were considered prestigious. Now, forty years later, the same colleges are considered prestigious. What’s interesting is that no new colleges have come up with the same brand or reputation level. Neither have the seats expanded in existing colleges fast enough to accommodate the rising number of students.
I’ll give you an example. Just doing some meaningless surfing, I saw that 3.8 lakh candidates took the CBSE class XII exam in 1999, a number that has grown to 8.9 lakh in 2009. This is just one board, and if you take ICSE and all other state boards, the all India total number is over ten times that of CBSE. We probably had one crore students taking the class XII exam this year.
While not everyone can get a good college seat, I just want to talk about the so-called good students. The top 10 per cent alone of these one crore students is ten lakh children. Yes, these ten lakh students are their class toppers. In a class of fifty, they will have the top-5 ranks.
One could argue that these bright kids deserve a good college to realise their full potential. Come to think of it, it would be good for our country too if we train our bright children well to be part of the new, shining, gleaming, glistening or whatever you like to call the globalised India.
But then, it looks like you have stopped making universities. Are there ten lakh top college seats in the country? Are there even one lakh? Ever wondered what happens to the rest of us, year after year? Do we join a second rung college? A deemed university? A distance learning programme? A degree in an expensive, racist country?
Your government runs a lot of things. You run an airline that never makes money. You run hotels. You want to be involved in making basic stuff like steel and aluminum, which can easily be made by more efficient players. However, in something as important as
shaping the young generation, you have stepped back. You have stopped making new universities. Why?

You have all the land you want, teachers love to get a government job, education funds are never questioned. Still, why? Why don’t we have new, A-grade universities in every state capital for instance?
Oh well, sorry. I am over reacting. If only I had not done that calculation error in my math paper, I’d be fine. In fact, I am one of the lucky ones. In four years, the number of candidates will double. So then we will have a college that only has 99 per cent scorers.
My parents were a bit deluded about my abilities, and I do feel bad for them. I didn’t have a girlfriend or too many friends, as people who want to get into a good college are not supposed to have a life. If only I knew that slogging for twelve years would not amount to much, I’d have had more fun.
Apart from that, do well, and say hello to the PM, who as I understand, used to teach in college.
Yours truly,
Gautam
(Poor student)
I took a printout of the letter and kept it in my pocket. I decided to do the act the next morning. I woke up as the maid switched off the fan to sweep the room. She came inside and brought a box of sweets. A fifty-year-old woman, she had served us for over ten years. “What?” I said as she gave me the box. It had kaju-barfi, from one of the more expensive shops in the city. The maid had spent a week’s salary distributing sweets to anyone known to her. “My son passed class XII,” she said as she started her work. “How much did he score?” I said, still rubbing my eyes. “Forty two per cent. He passed English too,” she said as her face beamed with pride. “What will he do now?” I said. “I don’t know. Maybe his own business, he can repair mobile phones,” she said. I went to the bathroom for a shower. I realised the newspaper would have come outside. I ran out of the bathroom. I picked up the newspaper from the entrance floor. I took out the admissions supplement, crumpled it and threw it in the dustbin kept outside the house. I came back inside the house and went back into the shower.
I left the house mid-day. I took the metro to Chandni Chowk and asked my way to the industrial chemicals market. Even though I had left science after class X, I knew that certain chemicals like Copper Sulphate or Ammonium Nitrate could kill you. I bought a pack of both compounds. As I passed through the lanes of Chandni Chowk, I passed a tiny hundred square feet jalebi shop. It did brisk business. I thought my last meal had to be delicious. I went to the counter and took a quarter kilo of jalebis.
I took my plate and sat on one of the two rickety benches placed outside the shop.
A Muslim couple with a four-year-old boy came and sat on the next bench. The mother fed the boy jalebi and kissed him after each bite. It reminded me of my childhood and my parents, when they used to love me unconditionally and marks didn’t exist. I saw the box of Ammonium Nitrate and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t eat the jalebis. I came back home. I wondered if I should use my chemicals before or after dinner. Maybe it is better after everyone has slept, I thought.

We sat at the dinner table. Dad had told mom not to cook as he’d brought Chinese takeaway for us. Mom brought the soya sauce, chilli oil and the vinegar with cut green chillies in little katoris. We ate American chopsuey on stainless steel plates. I looked at my watch, it was 8 pm. Three more hours, I thought as I let out a sigh.
“One thing Kalpana,” my father said to my mother, “job candidates aren’t what they used to be these days. I interviewed for new trainees today, disappointing.”
“Why, what happened?” my mother said.
“Like this boy from Stephen’s, very bright kid. But only when it came to his subjects.”
“Really?” my mother said.
“Yeah, but I asked him a different question. I said how would you go about having a tea-shop chain like the coffee shop chains, and he went blank,” my father said, an inch of noodle hanging outside his mouth. My mother removed it from his face.
“And then some kid from SRCC. He topped his college. But you should have seen his arrogance. Even before the interview starts, he says ‘I hope at the end of our meeting, you will be able to tell me why I should join Tata Tea and not another company’. Can you imagine? I am twice his age.”

I could tell my father was upset from his serious tone.
“If you ask me,” my father continued, “the best candidate was a boy from Bhopal. Sure, he didn’t get into a top college. But he was an eighty per cent student. And he said ‘I want to learn. And I want to show that you don’t need a branded college to do well in life. Good people do well anywhere.’ What a kid. Thank God we shortlisted him in the first place.”
“Did he get the job?” I said.
“Yes, companies need good workers, not posh certificates. And we are having a meeting to discuss our short listing criteria again. The top colleges are so hard to get in, only tunnel vision people are being selected.” “Then why are you asking him to join Stephen’s or SRCC?” my mother said.
My father kept quiet. He spoke after a pause. “Actually, after today, I’d say don’t just go by the name. Study the college, figure out their dedication, and make sure they don’t create arrogant nerds. Then whatever the brand, you will be fine. The world needs good people.”

I looked at my parents as they continued to talk. Excuse me, but I have a plan to execute here. And now you are confusing me, I thought. “So should I study some more colleges and make a decision after that?” I said. “Yes, of course. No need for herd-mentality. Kalpana you should have seen this boy from Bhopal.”
Post-dinner, my parents watched TV in the living room while eating fruits. I retracted to my room. I sat on my desk wondering what to do next. The landline phone rang in my parent’s room. I went inside and picked it up.
“Hello Gautam?” the voice on the other side said.
It was my father’s colleague from work. “Hello, Yash uncle,” I said. “Hi,” he said, “congratulations on your boards.” “Thanks uncle,” I said, “dad is in the living room finishing dinner, should I call him?” “Dinner? Oh, don’t disturb him. Just tell him his mobile is with me. It is safe. We were on a field trip today. He left it in my car.” “Field trip? For interviews?” I said. “What interviews? No, we just went to the Chandigarh office,” he said.

I wished him good night and hung up the phone. I switched on the bedside lamp in my parents’ room. Confused, I sat down on my father’s bed, wondering what to do next. To make space, I moved his pillow. Under the pillow lay a crumpled newspaper. I picked it up. It was the same admissions supplement I had tossed in the bin this morning. My father had circled the cut-offs table.
I left the newspaper there and came to the living room. My father was arguing with my mother over the choice of channels. I looked at my father. He smiled at me and offered me watermelon. I declined.
I came back to my room. I picked up the chemical boxes and took them to the toilet. I opened both boxes and poured the contents in the toilet commode. One press, and everything, everything flushed out.
“Gautam,” my mother knocked on the door, “I forgot to tell you. Gupta aunty came again. Can you teach her daughter?”
“Maybe,” I said as I came out of the toilet, “by the way, is she pretty?”

Tropical treats

Keep going strong with Navneet Mange’s fruity cocktails to help you keep the heat at bayCOCKTAIL CORNER
Navneet Mange whisks cocktails at a restaurant that has been dubbed one of the most romantic in the world. For that’s how The Dome, the rooftop restaurant at InterContinental Marine Drive, has been tagged ever since it was listed among the world’s top 20 sky bars by The Telegraph, UK and Times Online, UK. He also mans the hotel’s equally exclusive watering hole — the Czar Bar.
Head bartender and mixologist, Mange believes that he’s learning on the job all the time by regularly exchanging notes with his guests. “They share a whole lot of information about places they have travelled to and the drinks they have knocked back,” he says.
Now that summer’s here with a vengeance, he says that it’s time for cocktails high on tropical fruit and juices. We recommend his Mango Batida that’s made with Cachaça, a Brazilian spirit and fresh mango.
On his list of favourites, however, are tipples with bases of vodka and champagne. He says: “They allow one to play with the taste and flavour, while retaining the strength of the drink.”
Long Island Iced Tea
Glass: tall Glass
Ingredients 15ml rum 15ml vodka 15ml tequila 15ml Grand Marnier 15ml gin Lime juice (a dash) Coke (to top up) 2 half slices Mandarin orange 2 Maraschino cherries
Method Shake the five spirits — rum, vodka, tequila, Grand Marnier and gin — with lime juice in a cocktail shaker. Pour into a large 550ml, 12-inch tall glass with lots of ice and top up with Coke. Garnish with slices of Mandarin Orange and Maraschino cherries.
Marine Drive Malibu Breeze
Glass: Margarita
Ingredients 60ml coconut rum (Malibu) 60ml pineapple juice 60ml cranberry juice Lime juice (a dash) 1 cherry 1 slice pineapple
Method Shake the rum and the juices with a dash of lime juice in a cocktail shaker. Strain and pour into a margarita glass. Garnish with a slice of pineapple and a cherry.
Chocotini
Glass: martini
Ingredients 45ml vodka 15ml Baileys Irish Cream 15ml Crème de cacao
Method Shake the ingredients well in a cocktail shaker over ice. Then strain and pour into a white and dark chocolate rimmed martini glass.

Top Indian novelist tells youngsters it's OK to fail

4 days ago
JAIPUR, India (AFP) — By day he's an investment banker, by night he's India's biggest-selling English-language novelist -- even though most people outside the country have never heard of him.
Chetan Bhagat's witty "Five Point Someone" about three academically flailing students; "One Night @ the Call Centre," about the love lives of youngsters in the call centre industry; and "The 3 Mistakes of My Life," a story about suicide, business and friendship, have sold more than two million copies in India.
Bhagat, 35, is the first to admit he's no Arundhati Roy, the Indian Booker Prize-winning author, and says he knows critics feel his books are shallow.
But Bhagat, who enjoys a rock star-like popularity among his readers, aged mainly 13 to 30, said he has the ultimate riposte -- "my books sell".
Bhaghat says he writes for "ordinary young people" who feel suffocated by their parents' desire for them to become doctors, lawyers or engineers.
"Indian youngsters live under pressure-cooker conditions to succeed," Bhagat, clad in jeans and a T-shirt and looking as young as many of the characters in his novels, told AFP in an interview.
There's cut-throat competition to win places in India's elite universities with youngsters compelled to score highly from primary to high school. Entrance to top universities often require 90 percent-plus averages and most children have after-school tutoring to attain such marks.
"Every cousin of mine is becoming a doctor or engineer," remarks the hero of his novel "One Night @ The Call Centre," who answers phone calls from clueless Americans about their cooking appliances.
"You can say I am the black sheep of my family," he said.
Bhagat believes India needs to have an academic and social revolution to prevent young people simply regurgitating what they learn without thinking.
"I tell them even if they don't get stratospheric marks, they're still entitled to a happy life -- and it's not the end of the world if they fail," he said at the recent Jaipur Literature Festival in northern India.
"I talk about youngsters' worries, their anxieties -- all the things that preoccupy them," he said.
Those subjects include parental academic pressure along with pre-marital sex, drinking and other topics taboo in socially conservative India.
At any public appearance, he's mobbed by young people seeking his autograph.
"He's talking to my generation, we connect to him," said college student Poorvi Mathur, 18, who lined up for his signature at the festival.
Bhagat, who attended one of India's elite management schools, began writing in his spare time while an investment banker for Goldman Sachs in Hong Kong.
He is now employed in Mumbai by Deutsche Bank where he deals in "distressed assets" -- a growth area with the global economic downturn -- and said he tries to keep the two parts of his life separate.
"It's a different me," he said, referring to his button-down banker role.
At night and on weekends, he honed his first manuscript about the academically stress-filled life on campus to get the breezy, fast-paced tone right. The tale, published when he was 29, was an instant hit.
"The secret to his success is he writes in ordinary English -- and it's reassuring for young people to know someone knows what they're going through," said Rashmi Menon, senior editor at Bhagat's publisher Rupa.
"If you want to know what many young people in India are thinking about, read Chetan Bhagat," she said.
Part of his success may lie in the cost. His books retail for 95 rupees or two dollars, a pocket-friendly price that he calls a marketing "master-stroke" because it was cheap enough to allow youngsters to buy them.
With his third book published last October, Bhagat says he could now afford to live on his writing but likes his day job and has no plans to quit.
The book has been selling at the unheard of rate of one copy every 17 seconds in India, according to his publishers.
"Chetan's sales are enormous -- God has been good to both of us," said Rupa publisher and owner R.K. Mehra, who added that an English-language book that sold 10,000 copies would be considered a success in India.
Initially Bhagat feared he might be a one- or two-book wonder and fretted about how he would support his family: He has a wife and twin boys.
The financial payback is the bonus to the personal feedback he gets from his many fans who email him regularly with ideas and tales about their own lives.
"Only I know how much of a feeling of reward I get from my readers," he said.

Toffee toast

Talk about doing it the old school way. In an age when dark chocolate and truffle cake are standard accompaniments when it comes to breaking the good news, publisher Rupa & Co. still prefers to stick to traditions we left behind a good couple of decades ago. Last week, when the sales figure of their latest Chetan Bhagat book The 3 Mistakes of My Life hit the five-lakh mark, the publisher steered past new-age formalities to send out tiffin boxes full of Mango Bites, and Melodies — do those names ring a bell? — in classic schoolboy fashion to its list of well-wishers. Needless to say, the gesture evoked fond memories and was greatly appreciated. Nothing like saying it with toffees.

So many stories

So many stories - Chetan Bhagat, banker and best-selling author, came to town.
POULOMI BANERJEE
On Sunday evening, the entrance to Big Bazaar at Hiland Park was teaming with people. On the floors above, every inch of railing space was taken by people, some of whom had been waiting for over an hour. No, they weren’t waiting for Shah Rukh Khan or Sourav Ganguly. The wait was for an investment banker, whose storytelling has struck a chord with the youth.
Chetan Bhagat had come calling on Calcutta to launch his third book, The Three Mistakes of My Life. The author of best-selling novels Five Point Someoneand One Night At The Call Centre was touched by the response. “My readers are the ones who love me. And it is their love that has made me what I am. I have a long way to go as a writer, but as they say, when you love someone you don’t see the scars,” laughed Bhagat, as he interacted with the audience, took questions, read an excerpt from his new release and signed copies for his audience. The venue, Depot at Big Bazaar, is a place not many writers would like to see their work released, but for the country’s top-selling writer, it seemed just right.
There was also a treat in store for the “city of his in-laws”, a preview of the film Hello, based on One Night At The Call Centre starring Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif…
t2 in conversation with the author…
The Three Mistakes of My Life starts with an email, a suicide note from an unknown reader. Did you really receive such an email?
No, not this one. But I do receive many emails from my readers and sometimes they do share their problems with me. Often I get freaked. I don’t know what to do or say. At times I try to give general replies.
From where do you draw your subjects?
Initially, they were my stories. Now they are stories of my readers and people around me. Five Point Someone is my story. Hari is Chetan Bhagat. The idea of One Night At The Call Centre was born as I heard stories of BPO workers, from my cousins and sister-in-law. Many of my cousins work at call centres.
Plus, as I said, many people write to me. That also helps me to write.
The language you use is the anguage the youth speaks today. Was that a conscious decision?
I don’t know whether it is conscious, but then everyone has a style and that is my style. I do believe that books should be written in the language of the people.
I can write something that the English teachers appreciate very much, but if it fails to connect with the masses, the purpose is defeated.
I want literature to be taken out of the hands of a few people in the metros and reach everyone. I don’t mind critics. Of course one has to improve.
But why change what is my strength? The sale of my books has shown that my readers appreciate this style. I am making many people happy.
Your books have had Bollywood-style endings, with a big climax and everything falling in place...
I agree. I grew up on Hindi films. I love my big, grand ends, with some things working out and falling in place. I have
done it in The Three Mistakes of My Life too.
Your stories are all very ‘now’ — be it in the choice of subject or language. Do you think they will continue to appeal some years from now?
I frankly don’t know. But I think I have to connect with the times.
Five Point Someone is based in the 1990s. There are no cellphones in that book. But it is still selling. I hope the others too will continue to appeal.
Maybe time would have changed, but people would still like it for nostalgic reasons, like a Dil Chahta Hai.
And you don’t want to address a wider readership with more global subjects?
No. There are so many stories to tell here. In India stories have not been told for so many years. I have to make up for lost time.
Would you say you have given voice to contemporary India?
I think, like films that are made for the film festival audience, books were being written for a niche market. I have taken it out and delivered a potboiler.
Your style and subjects were very fresh when you started. Do you think it might be losing some of its novelty?
I am always ready to try something new. Maybe in the next book…. But I haven’t thought of it yet and, as of now, have no themes or ideas in mind.
All your books are very male-centric. Why?
Yes, I have been told that and I must do something about it. Fifty per cent of my readership consists of women. I now want to write a book with a woman protagonist.
Would you say that you have been the male alternative to chick lit?
My books are not chick lit or its male alternative. Yes, it is not awesome writing, there is scope for improvement. But it does address social issues. You have to give it that.
Finally, how involved have you been with Hello? Did you worry about how the director would interpret your book?
Well, I am the scriptwriter of the film, so I knew exactly what was happening. But I don’t mind the director adding his touch. I’m not possessive about my book.
***
Bestseller (Fiction)
1. The Three Mistakes Of My Life — Chetan Bhagat, Rupa & Co, Rs 95
2. Unaccustomed Earth — Jhumpa Lahiri, Random House India, Rs 495
3. A Prisoner of Birth — Jeffrey Archer Pan Books, Rs 260
4. The Enchantress of Florence — Salman Rushdie, Jonathan Cape, Rs 595
5. The Palace of Illusions — Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, Picador India, Rs 495
Bestseller (Non- Fiction)
1. Cold Steel — Tim Bouquet, Little Brown, Rs 650
2. The Last Lecture — Randy Pausch, Hodder and Stoughton, Rs 295
3. The Age Of Innovation — C. K. Prahalad, Tata McGraw Hill, Rs. 695
4. Foreign Correspondent: Fifty Years of Reporting South Asia — Edited by John Elliott, Bernard Imhasly and Simon Denyer, Penguin, Rs 695
5. Superstar India: From Incredible to Unstoppable — Shobhaa De, (picture above) Penguin India, Rs 395 Courtesy: Crossword

Priceless @ 95

Chetan Bhagat has become the biggest-selling English author in India, outselling Shobhaa Dé and Vikram Seth to register sales of over a million copies of his first two books combined. Anirban Das Mahapatra meets Bhagat — and discovers that being billed a celebrity makes him blush
At Rs 95, a business plan can hardly ever go wrong. But that isn‟t merely what Chetan Bhagat is harping on — as an Indian Institute of Management alumnus he‟d know that price alone cannot sell a product. “I don‟t want to be India‟s most admired writer,” he writes in the “acknowledgement” section of his new book. “I just want to be India‟s most loved writer. Admiration passes. Love endures.”
Bhagat knows best. Love has endured to the extent of making him the biggest-selling English author in India. And that‟s not even counting his third book, The 3 Mistakes of My Life, which hit the bookshelves over the weekend.
In four years, Bhagat has outsold Shobhaa Dé and Vikram Seth to register sales of over a million copies of his first two books combined. The first, Five Point Someone, has sold over 700,000 copies. One Night @ the Call Centre, his second literary venture, sold at the rate of one copy every three seconds in the first week after its launch. His annual royalty, according to a publishing insider, exceeds Rs 1 crore.
The 34-year-old investment banker has touched gold — and he thinks it‟s all because of love. “You see, admiration demands perfection. Love accepts you with all your flaws,” he says. “It‟s amazing how my readers have taken me as I am.”
Penguin, Dé‟s publisher, does not divulge sale figures, but the story at the micro level is stark. Her latest book, Superstar India, was released across India two weeks ago. Until Friday, Om Book Shop — one of South Delhi‟s biggest retailers — reported a sale of 250 copies. That very evening, Bhagat‟s novel was released, and sold 300 copies. “Till date, we‟ve sold 20,000 copies of his books, compared to 4,000 by Vikram Seth, and about 2,000 copies of Arundhati Roy‟s The God of Small Things,” says proprietor Amit Vig.
TOP SELLER Total copies of Bhagat‟s books sold till date in India: Over 10 lakh Five point Someone: Over seven lakh copies in the domestic market and counting One Night @ the Call Centre: Sold at the rate of one every three seconds at its peak hour. Now around the 5 lakh mark The 3 Mistakes of My Life: First print order of 2 lakh copies Courtesy: Rupa & Co -------------------------------------
Even as he speaks, Bhagat‟s publisher Kapish Mehra furiously tries to meet the escalating demand pouring into his Daryaganj office from distributors across India. Confident that Bhagat‟s new book will do well, the Rupa boss had placed an ambitious print order of 200,000 copies, in a country where print runs for a paperback seldom exceed 5,000. Even before the launch, he managed to pre-sell nearly three-quarters of it. “I‟m already thinking of a reprint,” he says.
But Bhagat, who has just been given as royalty a jumbo cheque of Rs 10 lakh, similar to those handed out after cricket matches, refuses to be carried away by all the jazz. Yet to grow out of his IIT-Delhi mould, he talks in Hinglish, the lingo of young India. Eleven years in Hong Kong haven‟t affected his accent. And being billed a celebrity makes him blush with embarrassment.
“Writing is only for fun. It has nothing to do with selling. I‟d write even if I made nothing from it,” says Bhagat, now with Deutsche Bank in Mumbai.
In 2004, when Bhagat wrote Five Point Someone, he was no different from other authors on Rupa‟s catalogue. He was paid a nominal advance, and the book was released with modest expectations. But as a publisher-cum-distributor, Rupa could penetrate the Indian market to push his books in every small town. And aware that it would be read by youngsters living on parental dole, Mehra priced it at an affordable Rs 95. The rest was history.
Bhagat has a nice way of putting it. “I always had a problem with how writing that paraded as „Indian‟ literature was only read by a few thousand people in big cities. The rest of the country never got a chance to flip through it. My biggest achievement is that at Rs 95, I have managed to make India read again.”
But Mehra‟s strategy of underpricing Bhagat has its share of detractors. “Underpricing could potentially be counter productive, as a section of dedicated readers who associate price with quality might steer clear of a book offered at such a low price,” says P.M. Sukumar, CEO of HarperCollins India. “We‟d love to have Bhagat on our catalogue, but not if we had to sell his books at Rs 95.”
Shobhaa Dé, while congratulating Bhagat, raises precisely that question. “There is a difference between selling a book at Rs 95 and claiming big numbers, as compared to selling other paperbacks, mine included, at Rs 300. Can one compare the Nano story with a Mercedes?”
Perhaps not. But Bhagat‟s fans couldn‟t care less. Critics have slammed his writing, using phrases such as “juvenile trash” and “classic Bollywood farce.” But the bad press never told on his sales.
Renuka Chatterjee, head of Osian‟s literary agency, explains why. “In the mass market, it is the reader and not the reviewer who matters. As long as books strike a chord with the masses, it doesn‟t matter how much they are panned in the review pages.
“That‟s exactly where Bhagat‟s strength lies. And his popularity can be best vouched for by his readers. “He is easy to read, he uses the language of our generation, and he knows how to connect with us by stepping into our shoes,” says 24-year-old Tanushree Upadhyay. “Within my circle of friends, any new book written by him is hot.”
Upadhyay‟s words only corroborate academic and critic Alok Rai‟s hunch. “In his own ground-breaking way, Bhagat has perhaps allowed his readers to live the „now‟ experience, and that‟s what has worked in his favour,” he says. Bookseller and agent Anuj Bahri is more direct. “If other writers have tried to click by churning out arthouse stuff, he‟s doing it Rang De Basanti style,” laughs Bahri.
There are, however, other cogs in the well-oiled wheel that spins out the mega bucks. Like a tie up with Big Bazaar — the quintessential people‟s retail outlet — for the launch of his new book in Mumbai and Gurgaon. “They‟re super aggressive, man, they know how to sell,” says Bhagat. “During the Mumbai launch, they were throwing in a free copy with every five copies bought, like dal chawal. And people were actually falling for it.” Om Book Shop, Delhi, says, Shobhaa Dé‟s latest book Superstar India, released nearly two weeks ago, has sold 250 copies so far. Bhagat‟s new book sold 300 copies on the launch day The store has so far sold 20,000 copies of Bhagat‟s works, compared to 4,000 of all Vikram Seth‟s books combined, and just about 2,000 copies of Roy‟s 1996 classic The God of Small Things The figures pertain to only one book shop and are indicative ------------------------------------- Current annual royalty: In excess of Rs 1 crore
Bhagat has now decided to take a year off from writing to muse over his life and vocation, but fans could look forward to Hello, a film based on his second book starring Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif, due for release this year.
Meanwhile, Rupa is making the most of the time to give those who‟ve never read Bhagat a chance to catch up on his works. A premium boxset, featuring all three books, is now out for sale. The price? Elementary mathematics — Rs 285.
Pic: Ramakant Kushwaha